Love Wins

Its mid November!!!  Wow!  Ive been here for four months now!  I have settled in a routine(I say that very loosely:)) While most of you are trying to get used to the cooler weather we are still experiencing summer.  

My family here and I went to the beach for the day.  It was quite a journey but well worth it to see how much fun the girls had.  I had no idea that for some of them it was their first time to the beach!  They loved it!  I love these girls so much!  

We finished the first quarter at school a few weeks ago.  The principal said to me "You're making an English exam right?"  My response was new news to us both when I said "Absolutely!"  I am guessing the exam wasn't as easy as the kids would have liked based on all the "Misses N-eee-cole m'pa konnen sa!"(I don't know this)  They are very intelligent but were just a little intimidated by their test.  While most of what we learn is conversational I am also working on them with reading and writing our conversations.  I am working with teacher in the states and we are going to begin a PenPal program.  The students are so excited and I really think it is encouraging them to learn.  Teaching is hard work.  I have so much more respect for teachers.  There is so much to teaching, not only getting kids to retain the material but also teaching it in a way to keep them engaged and interested.  We sing, jump around, play games and laugh a lot.  Learning can be fun!    

Here are the beautiful girls in my bible study!  I love them.  They are so sweet and give so much grace!  We got to celebrate Junies birthday too!

One of my best friends from High School came to visit last month.  We had an amazing time and she was the best guest I could ask for.  She was so easy going and handled our adventures so well, always with a smile.  She had a few extra adventures besides the normal Haiti one such as traveling through the Dominican Repbublic on a rainy night when neither of us spoke spanish hoping we were going in the right direction, finding tadpoles in her water and picking out chickens and preparing them for dinner that night!  She was such joy to have and everyone here loved her!  They kept asking if she was my sister.  

Just making some brownie after school

My precious babies I see everyday enjoying some Sour Patch Kids for the first time

There was a team visiting to put on their annual women's conference.  It was so neat to see the relationship this team had with the women here.  Some members of the team have been coming for about ten years.  It was so apparent that these relationships were the kind that only happen over long periods of investment, love, trust and respect.  The women actually pick the content they wish to learn about at the next years conference.  This conference was a beautiful example of really investing in people, seeing them as people not just a project.   

One of the women on the team and her daughter met the student they sponsor and his family for the first time.  This is always a really special moment.  Imagine this...you have a family and a few children.  You have the funds to send them to school because both parents are able to find work.  Dad is working as a farmer.  But then Dad gets sick.  He cant work anymore because he's in the hospital.  So much money is spent trying to help him but its just not enough, he dies.  Mom is doing the best she can but her income just isn't enough to support the family especially after the hospital fees.  School is approaching quickly but the funds just aren't there to pay for school.  Each night the family prays for God to help, send some kind of relief.  Other kids in the neighborhood are beginning to purchase their school supplies and have their uniforms made but not this family.  The prayers continue.  And then the news arrives!  A sponsor has been found for the children in the family!  Generosity from afar has changed their lives and helped provide light in a tough situation.  

Now imagine this...You live in Beaufort, South Carolina.  Your family is a mom, a dad, three kids and a dog.  You're doing all you can to make ends meet.  Things can be stressful at times but the kids have no idea because theres always food for dinner and the lights are on.  You've been trying to save money for the kids college when the time comes and you've also decided to invest a good bit of money is some promising stock.  Well then things changed a bit...you got laid off and are now trying to maintain a one salary household.  You begin to dip into the "college" savings and it slowly begins to shrink.  And then that promising stock...it plummets...its all gone.  Your oldest is starting to fill out her college applications.  How to tell her college money doesn't exist?  What will you do?  Is there another option besides all the loans?  Her counselor tells her about a few generously sized private scholarships.  Guess what...she gets them.  She gets them all!  She has enough money to go to school.  Praise God!  

Now you get the opportunity to meet the generous people who paid for your child's eduacation.  They didn't know your child personally but because of the donor they get the educations they've dreamt of.  How excited would you be to share your gratitude?  The connections we can make as people is amazing.  We have the opportunity to fill in the gap that others may be missing.  Im not saying you need to sponsor a child or pay for someones college education, just remember to see people for who they really are and what they really need.  Give an encouraging word, a kind smile, call that person thats been on your mind all day to check in on them, give away that beautiful scarf because you know how beautiful it will look on your friend.  Its also not about giving because you have excess, just giving what you don't need.  Give what you love, give the time you don't think you have, give generously and from your heart.  Watch it change you only for the better.   

LOVE WINS

I have thought many times about sitting down and writing this.  Its not that I'm too busy, I really believe we have time for what we make time, or that I cant think of anything to say.  The thing is that I think it is very important to choose my words wisely.  This blog, for many of you, is the only insight  into my life here or even into Haiti as a country, other than the few things you hear in the news of course.  I do not wish to oooh and ahh you with stories of poverty stricken families, voodoo or how I am making Haiti a better place.  I live in a very beautiful place with very beautiful people who are making me a better person.  Life is real here and so are the struggles.  I notice that here the struggles are more apparent than what I am accustomed to but struggle is everywhere.
I have been thinking, as I always am, about how I live my life.  Do I live contradictory to what I say? If I really believe what I say I believe my life WILL reflect that.  We are on a journey.  I understand that.  I am not condemning myself or anyone else.  I live in grace.  I humbly cling to grace but I desire to continue to be transformed.  I was made in the image of God.  I was made to glorify God.  If I understand these two fundamental truths things become

much simpler.  Life is not a fight or a race and what you "need" is a very short list.  Life is beautiful and purposeful.  Have joy.  Its ok to not always be happy but allow joy to be present.  Stop trying so hard.  Rest.  Know who you are.  Be content with where you are but do not be satisfied staying there.  Have dreams but know that those dreams, whether they come to fruition or not, are another stepping stone.  Its not that you're never finished or its never good enough, its that you GET to keep going, it gets better.  Life is bigger than you or I can see.  Thank God there is so much beyond what we can see or understand, thank God there is a bigger picture.  Please know how special you are and how much value you have.

There are so many things I am thankful for and so blessed to be doing!
I started teaching!  Teaching is difficult.  I prepare more for my job than I ever have in the past.  I am teaching two 3 year old classes, 2 four year old classes, 3 kindergarden classes, 5th grade, 6th grade and an "adult" English class(mainly high school students).  The children are amazing!  They learn very quickly and have lots of fun.  Teaching also helps me learn creole which is an added bonus.  We are trying to start a pen pal program for the 5th and 6th grade with students in the states.  The kids are so excited about this and I really think it will encourage them to learn more.  When I proposed this idea to the teachers and principal they said "What about us?  They don't want to write to us too?".  So we will have a program for not only the students but also teachers!  There is another missionary coming in January and she will be teaching English also.  In January we will be able to provide English classes for all preschool and primary classes!

I am doing a Bible study with high school girls and its going great!  They are so wonderful and eager to learn.  I love how they ask questions and share stories of their lives(and bear with my lack of creole). 

Got to go to a baby dedication for the little sister and nephew of the little girl I sponsor, Nadieuda.

Nadieuda and I made brownies together :)

Got to visit the an amazing waterfall and bat cave!

And I have some sweet kids who live in my area who are always playing outside.  If I am home then I am sure to hear "Neeeecole!" I'll get a picture of those precious babies and post next time.

I love you all!  

Tomorrow I am going to start teaching English to our little ones here at school.  I will be teaching the 3, 4 and 5 year olds.  I got to go to each class last week to meet them, not only were they so excited but they greeted me with English songs!!  Such smart kids!  I am excited about teaching but honestly nervous too.  Ive been researching and working on different teaching ideas.  If you have any wisdom in this area I will happily and eagerly welcome it!  Im excited about loving on them and telling them how amazing they are.  I made this to have them read and speak truth out loud

I am important
I am kind
I am intelligent

Simple truth that I think we could all benefit from saying in the mirror every day.  

I am confident that at the end of the year each child will have a greater ability to speak English.  Thats great.  That is obviously a main objective.  Even more than expanding their English I want them to have greater confidence in the amazing one of a kind person they are.  I want them to begin to understand their identity.  God created them with infinite worth and value.  I love each and everyone of these precious kids already.

*Update*
Tried to post this last night and was unsuccessful.  I taught the 3 and 4 year olds today.  It went well.  We sang a song they know and played Simon Says so that they could learn some simple commands.  Simon Says went well with the other kids and they learn very quickly!!  We had fun!
***

I'm going to give you some insight into my life through some pictures.

My home before

and after

I sleep in the other room and there is also a separate bathroom.

For those of you who haven't met my precious bug killing companion

B èl aka Kiki(the name which I call every cat:)

Every saturday at 9:30a my friend Roro and I got to market to buy food for the week

You don't just run in, grab your cart, speed through the isles to get the items off your list which are in same place as they have been all year and run out.  Market is an experience.  You walk a lot, bargain, chat with friends, look for items that may or may not be available, wait for change, take a picture of the precious girl that keeps saying "photo photo", walk to the car to drop off the heavy load you're carrying and then head back to do it again and finish the your shopping.  I like market.  Sometimes of course I wish I could just "run in" but I enjoy the people, excitement, business, productivity and authenticity of it all.  

And if it can be carried on your head...it generally will.  

And if you think you can't carry it on your head...you probably can. 

We ran into our sweet hardworking amazing Louloues doing this balancing act, she will now walk about a mile to work just like this.  Amazing.

I have my own transportation!  Praise God!  EVERY single thing I have is because of people who believe and support me.  Absolutely beyond blessed!

Pastor Caleb Lucien is the founder of Hosean International Ministries, his father Pastor Sidoine is the pastor of Jerusalem Baptist Church.  He is a sweet, hardworking man that has done and continues to do so much for so many.  Not only does he have numerous churches over Haiti and have an orphanage but he also has large gardens.  I got to go for a visit! 

What you see here is sugarcane.  In addition he grows beans, corn, avocados, oranges, bananas and much more I'm sure!

Fresh picked sugarcane!  Even though I have been to Haiti many times I have to tell you this was my first time trying sugarcane.  I don't really like sweets so I have politely declined anytime SUGARcane was offered to me in the past.  

So juicy and delicious! For those of you who've never had it I have to tell you that it really isn't too sweet, just right.

I learned how to cook Haitian food(observed someone else cooking :)

Rice with beans, cashew sauce, avocado and beet salad

At home I cook for myself and because it is the rainy season I am taking full advantage of the fresh produce available.  I generally eat about 3 avocados a day!  Lots of bread.  I make guacamole often.  I also eat eggs, potatoes, carrots, rice and beans, pasta, fruit and oatmeal.  

A group came and did a really awesome program where they gathered tons of girls, fit them for and provided them with a formal gowns, gave a great message about identity and value and then crowned each and every girl!  It was amazing!  This is exactly what I wanted to speak into the girls.  It was a beautiful event.  

Beauty is ageless and so is being royalty

I got to talk to the woman who ran the event, she does this all around the world.  She is going to be sending me some curriculum and I will use some of it to have a Bible study with the girls.  Talked to a girl today who speaks english well and we are going to get it started in the next couple weeks! 

I spend time at the hospital a few times a week since my friend Volsi is there.  He is doing great.  He has surgery and is now in recovery.  It will be a long road but now we are heading in the right direction.  He's the sweetest man and so thankful.  I am getting to know the other patients as well.  This man was very sick when I first met him.  I really thought he might not make it.  Ive gotten to get to know him and his sister-in-law.  We talk, laugh, pray and read the Bible together.  Sweet sweet people.  Happy to tell you that he's better!  He went home last week.  I was sad to see them leave because they live a few hours away but so thankful he is healthy and able to go home.

My precious girl Nadieuda(found out her real name is Lydianette) and her brother Walkin come to my house everyday after school for a snack and to hang out.  

I am cooking them food and they're watching batman!

I got to have them over this weekend and they came to church with me.  I absolutely adore these two!

Character

A very important person in my life once told me that the tough and awkward situations, that most of are not too found of, build character.  He told me this when I was 19 and I remember saying "Well, Im done building character!"I was partly kidding as I know that life is a constant journey of growing but I have thought many times that I would happily welcome a little break from these lessons.  Nine years later I am still experiencing these situations.  Don't misunderstand me, I am grateful for who I have become from all the growth; I never want to stop.  

Romans 5:3-4 says:

3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Even though I am writing about my dislike of challenging situations, most people who know me know that I want nothing but the life God created me for regardless of trials, difficulty, awkwardness, loneliness and seemingly impossible situations.  

Living in Haiti is definitely a character building experience.  I'm always trying to gain a better understanding of who I am.  Who does God say I am?  Regardless of who I'm with or where I am there is a deep rooted identity within me that should shine through.  There is a lot to observe and take in living in a completely different culture.  I am trying to figure out how to be me, receive new customs and behavior and not push an agenda of what I think is the right way.  Sometimes we think something should be one way because thats what we are used to or comfortable with and sometimes its because truly there is a better way.  I find myself a little delayed in my action and speech as I am trying to discern between the root of my intentions.  This is frustrating to me.  

Last Saturday I was at the market buying my weekly groceries.  As a friend and I were leaving the very crowded and busy market a man carrying a box large plastic canisters of tomato paste on his head was walking towards us.  It all happened so fast, it slipped off his head and crashed to the ground.  The sauce went everywhere, all over me and my friend from head to toe.  Time froze for a second.  Everyone(including the man who dropped them) just stared at the ruined product on the floor.  My first thought was that I wanted to give him money.  I can't imagine the income he just lost.  He face showed his loss.  My second thought was what will people think if I just hand him money?  After a few seconds of frozen time everyone continued on as if it didn't happen...and so did we.  I followed my friend as she moved forward through the crowd.  

Honestly, I am so embarrassed to even share this story.  I know I should have given him money.  I am not upset just because I did not give him money, that is not the issue.  I am upset because I didn't do what I felt I should, I knew I should.  Like every situation I know that we always have options when something like this happens, I can either be angry with myself or I can try to understand why I responded the way I did and learn from it.  

I am finding that I have difficulty living in the midst of such genuine great need.  EVERYONE needs help, love, money, prayer, clothing, food, work, and the list goes on.  I want to help everyone.  I want to not just meet their immediate need but also get to the root of their problem and help them figure out how to help themselves.  This is not an easy process AT ALL.  I know my job is not to help everyone, honestly my job is not to help anyone.  My job is to glorify God in all I do and say.  I remind myself of this every day.  I am right where I am supposed to be.

For such a time as this

A few days ago I was driving into town and I saw a man about 70 years old walking down the hill with a walker.  He had an obvious deformity in one of his legs.  The hill he was walking down is pretty steep and very rocky and uneven, defiantly not safe for a man in a walker.  Later that evening as I was returning home I saw him at the base of the hill on his way up.  I decided to listen to the voice inside and stop to offer him a ride.  He was so grateful.  Luckily at the top of the hill was a friend of mine who speaks good english and it just so happens that they are neighbors.  My friend tells me that about 8 months ago the gentleman was walking at night and a car hit him.  The vehicle did not stop and was never found.  He was taken to the hospital where his wounds were treated topically and he was given some pain meds.  That was 8 months ago!  His leg is obviously broken and there is still an open infected wound.  While standing straight his good knee faces forward and the broken one faces inward which means so does his foot.  He can not bend his leg at all and is constant pain.  What little money he was able to earn before the accident is an impossibility now.  He is married but she is elderly also.  There is no family that is able to take care of them.  My heart breaks.  

I have been able to visit he and his wife at their home.  They are both so welcoming, as every Haitian is.  There are a few things that I have been able to do to meet some needs but again, there has to be a greater solution than just giving a handout.  

I just so happened to meet a doctor from Jamaica   We got to talk about the situation which gave me a little better understanding.  I don't know exactly what is going to happen but I am confident that God is bigger than any and every situation.  His hopes are up.  He is encouraged and so am I.  

Meet my friend Volsi

Its hard to believe that its been three weeks.  Im sure I could say that every time I sit to write...I'll try not to :) It feels like I've been here forever yet just got here all at the same time.  There has been a lot going on the past couple of weeks.  There’s been lots of transition all around.  We have had three missions teams since I arrived.  It has been really wonderful getting to spend time and get to know each team.  My apartment was not ready to live in yet so I was staying at the camp with the teams.  Each of them was so welcoming, loving and encouraging.  It was a nice transition into Haiti to be able to spend lots of time with these new friends.  It is really neat to watch the teams as they interact with the members of their team and the Haitians.  Thirteen years ago I was one of those young people staying at that very camp taking everything in for the first time.   Its so exciting to know that God has always been, is and will continue to be.  He planted something within me when I came for the first time just as He did so many times for others before me and is continuing to do so.  You never know why you are where you are.  Nothing is for not and things are often times different than you can think or imagine.  Its quite freeing knowing that you cant do it all correct or plan just right; all you need to do is seek the Lord with all you heart, mind and soul and He will direct your path.  Rest in Him. 

The past couple days have I have been pampered in amazing luxury.  I got the pleasure of tagging along with an American team to the beach!  It was beautiful, breathtaking actually!  Today I am spending some time at a local Hotel, MontJoli, while a friend of mine runs some errands.  The interesting thing about these two destinations is that these are the two places I visited with Rebecca on our last trip together in 2002 before she passed away.  I am reminded of her so much in Haiti but especially so the past couple of days.  I miss her.  I wish she was here with me.  I wish I could do this journey with her, gain from her wisdom and experience and just receive a hug from her.  I remember the way she smells....so beautiful.  Since she passed away 12 years ago I don’t ever remember missing her as much as I do now.  She was one of the most amazing, loving, daring and gentlest people I've ever known.  I am so grateful to walk down some of the paths she paved. 

Also...I am finally living in my apartment!  Yay!! Painting is finally finished and I have unpacked all my boxes!  It is starting to feel like a home.  I have a sweet little neighbor girl, Aga, who comes knocking on my door the second I walk inside.  She helped me clean and unpack and now we play cards together.  I am excited to get to know more of the kids in my neighborhood! 

I got to pray with a vender at the tourist market who is suffering from pain from Chikungunya virus.  She was so so grateful to be loved on and cared about. 

I had numerous conversations about God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, the power of God and prayer, and life in general. 

To say that I am grateful for the many relationships around me is an understatement. Some have continued my whole life and others only last a few days but each one means more than I can express.